long time no update.

things here in india are...meh, i suppose. trying to keep an open mind, but its harder and harder each day.

mostly, things dont seem worth it without him. some people say its unhealthy to be that close, but he's my entire world, and without him is like...a part of me is gone, and its killing me slowly. more on this another day possibly. tomorrow maybe, when its the weekend.

i love you <3

xxxNell

heyy all,

just wanted to let you guys know im alive and safe and sound in india. its wild here, and im very homesick, but hopefully things will get better. will update soon when i have more time.

much love

<3you

Nell

<input ... ></input><input ... > 
um. holy shit. im leaving for india today. in 3 hours and ten minutes, we leave for the airport. in 5 hours and 55 minutes, i have to be at the ticket counter, in my hideous orange shirt. in 8 hours and 15 minutes, i will be on the plane to india.

holy. fucking. shit.

when did this day get here so fast? i have to go finish packing. o.O

i love you <3

~Nell

you're right. Someday came suddenly...too suddenly. and now i dont know what to do with it. or about it. and im scared. very scared. guess i have to give it a shot. its never felt right to me though. and i know its never felt right to you either.

whatever happens, i love you.
<3
~Nell

BONUS: BLOCK ISLAND TOMORROW WITH THE BOYFRIEND! :D

that totally just made things a whole lot better. :)

loveyouu.
<3
xxxNell

ever get the feeling that what you've chosen, or where you're going, isn't right? like it was the wrong decision?

im so ridiculously fed up with my parents and so not ready for anything life is about to hand me. aka india. everything in my gut says dont go. its been saying that for a while. i think i need to listen to it. above everything else, trust yourself.

i love you, more than you can imagine.

xxx Nell.

i know most of us are responsible people, and dont do dumb things a lot.

but please, always be careful when you drive?

and dont drive when you're drunk. even after one drink.

it really worries me. i just pray a lot, but it worries me.

ok, thanks.

i love you!
<3
Nell

...9 days to India. havent started packing. not sure how i feel right now. somewhere between excited, nervous, and anxious.

apologies for the major lack of updates.

montana photos here: www.facebook.com/whos.the.best

lemme know if you guys cant see that for some reason or another...i'd post pics, but theres WAY too many. i dont have the patience right now, haha.

planning a trip to six flags tomorrrow maybe? *knock on wood* then ians party with jeff...

so yeah...short, and sweet. mucho love!

Nell

Gone to Montana and seen Buffalo, Elk, Coyotes, Elk and Deer carcases, and Eagles.

:D

just wanted to let you all know I'm home from Montana and had a WONDERFUL time. pictures soon, once i get them all from my brother's computer. unfortunately i never had cell service, so if anyone tried to reach me, i didn't get any messages :/

also, could i ask you guys to say a quick prayer for a friend of mine? she cut herself again..and hit an artery this time. i'm very worried about her, and she's currently back at the uhm...well, i dont want to call it a psych hospital, but the place is called Juniper Hill I think. anyway, she's in desperate need of prayers and good thoughts to get well again. thanks guys.

much love to all of you

Nell

Stick my head in a bucket.

...no, seriously. :D my friends and I do it at the barn all the time. We fill up buckets, then dunk our heads in them. Its wonderful!

Or, go out to the lake and go waterskiing or jetskiing. :D

:)

dear f-list.

dont ever travel to countries where you are required to get rabies shots.

and try not to get rabies.

the shots HURT LIKE A MOTHERF***ER.

thats all :)

<3

xxxNell

ok, i need to vent. it may be short, but its a vent nevertheless.

i HATE people who say you can trust them, who say they wont tell anyone else what you just said, and then they turn right back around, and not ONLY do they tell people what you just said, they skew the truth as well, so you are made to look like a terrible person.

i also hate people who are drama whores, and whine and complain and make you sound like the bitchiest person ever, when they're just as much at fault as you are.

its people like that who are my reason for my recent major trust issues. i've found that of all my friends, i can really only trust the ones im closest to. almost everyone else are lying, cheating scum. and really deserve a good punch to the nuts.

ok, thats my rant for now.

ps- this has nothing to do with anyone on here, promise :) i love you all dearly, so no worries :)

so im thinking of getting seether's latest album, Finding Beauty In Negative Spaces, tattooed on my arm. not now, sometime in the near to slightly distant future.

but anyway, these are the three fonts im thinking of:

Finding Beauty In Negative Spaces (kunstler script)

Finding Beauty In Negative Spaces (French script mt)

Finding Beauty In Negative Spaces (Edwardian script itc)

i really hope these dont come out all the same....thoughts??

 

i cant stop listening to this song lately....

"Valentine's Day". Linkin Park.

my insides all turn to ash
so slow
and blew away as I collapsed
so cold

a black wind took them away
from sight
and now the darkness over day
that night

and the clouds above move closer
looking so dissatisfied
but the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing

I used to be my own protection
but not now
cause my path has lost direction
somehow

a black wind took you away
from sight
and now the darkness over day
that night
and the clouds above move closer
looking so dissatisfied

and the ground below grew colder
as they put you down inside
but the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing

so now you're gone
the day is wrong
I never knew
 what it was like
 to be alone on a Valentine's Day

on a Valentine's Day
on a Valentine's Day
on a Valentine's Day
on a Valentine's Day

(i used to be my own protection)
on a Valentine's Day
(but not now)
on a Valentine's Day
(cause my mind has lost direction)
on a Valentine's Day
(somehow)
on a Valentine's Day

(i used to be my own protection)
on a Valentine's Day
(but not now)
on a Valentine's Day
(cause my mind has lost direction)
on a Valentine's Day
(somehow)

www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,529328,00.html


Billy Mays died this morning? Um what? Has anyone else heard this? Or is someone pulling a really mean prank?

so, i just had half of the woodbury fire department at my house.

cool.

my mom set our kitchen (specifically our stove) on fire. it was entertaining, to say the least.

everyone's ok, but the stove didn't make it, sadly.

RIP 1950's Era Stove. You will Be Missed.

i have to be up at 7 to leave my house at 7.15 so i can get to waterbury before 8am to sit through a four hour drug and alcohol class when i cant even get my license until december. what fuckery is this? its summer. oh hell.

oh well. thats life i suppose.

<3

xxxNell.

well, the title sort of says it all.

hooray uberviolent storms of doom! the sky is turning black, tornado warnings, and hydroplaning warnings.

my state is screweddddd. this should be interesting.